Crash into me...

I just finished reading a book. It’s not award winning but I feel as though it is much more inspired than the simplicity of the words may let on.

It’s…powerful.

It’s…dark.

It’s… real.

It’s about suicide.

And off all the things that can sneak into a warped, suicide loving, mind it leads to 10 of the simplest reason to live.

10. Stars in a really dark sky

  9. Driving across the country

  8. Nirvana

  7, My Mom

  6. Our dog pack

  5. Gay Bingo

  4. Mud fights

  3. Kissing

  2. Magic marker tattoos

  1. Pink socks

These reasons won’t resonate with someone who hasn’t read this story because it sounds like a tired band, colored laundry, and all the things we forget to find the beauty in while taking them ever for granted.

The story though… makes it undeniably lovely to think of what stars may look like on a velvet sky that you wouldn’t have noticed before your life was changed. Changed by people, by circumstance, by accident, by love, by fate…

Stars you were covered by each day for all of you life and were never warmed by their light from the inside out until something came along and changed you.

I of course immediately typed up the “My top 10 reasons to live” list from the book, “Crash into Me”, to hang on my wall. I read the book over the course of two days and somehow I feel like I will never forget how these 10 things are simplistic in every way and can actually change a heart that leads to changing a life. It’s splendid even when fiction. It’s the same as commercialized romance… what you see may not be real but the idea… the idea behind these gestures came from someone’s mind at some point in time on this earth that we roam. Maybe it’s not happening to you but to know that it happened, even just to dance, for a moment, across someone’s subconscious, makes it every bit as real and that is something I take great comfort in. The beauty of these “10 things” exist.

Of all the things happening in life right now that I have no control over it’s on the verge of spinning me out of control before I have anything to say about it. I’m impatient and often unkind. I am often unkind because of my impatience. I want to remind myself, even if only by reading what I wrote while on this literary high, to make the bests attempts to stay calm through the things I can not change. Short of going all “serenity prayer” into the “forever” that writing things creates, I want to find a way to remind myself of how things can become something more astounding than I could have ever designed with nothing but my imagination. Imagination is made more beautiful by it’s surroundings and I want to remind myself to take life for what it gives me, Chicago or “pink socks”, I can’t choose what will change my life… I just have to let it.